


IL PAPA SAYS THE NETWORK IS DOWN! SEND PORN CUPCAKES!

by esteefee



Series: Pope John [10]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blasphemy, Crack, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 07:45:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The network is down for scheduled maintenance; Il Papa evinces his displeasure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	IL PAPA SAYS THE NETWORK IS DOWN! SEND PORN CUPCAKES!

"NO NO NO! Bring it back up!" said Il Papa, crossing his arms and looking stern. The effect was undercut somewhat by his mitre being crumpled from the earlier shark attack, but Rodney was still a little cowed. A pope without his online porn was not to be trifled with.

"Okay, look. This was a scheduled maintenance," Rodney said, stressing the _scheduled_. "You had plenty of time to prepare—"

"There were...circumstances."

"Eh?"

John looked evasive and made a clawed, funnel shape with his hands.

"Oh." Rodney shuddered. "Well—"

"And now I'm all out of porn." John took a step closer. "And you know what that means, right?"

"Um." Rodney backed away. "I get to work faster?" His heel hit the desk, and then his ass. John was suddenly close—way too close, and looking less than sanctified or holy or anything more than downright devilish, with his lower lip all pouty and the tips of his ears turning red and his eyes gleaming in that particular way which meant serious hickies in Rodney's future.

"No-o," John said slowly. "Guess again." And he flattened Rodney's hips against the desk with his hard-on. 

"Okay, I'm starting to see the picture," Rodney said, a little breathless as John pressed him down, down, until he was lying flat on the desk and conveniently positioned, apparently, to be stripped of his pants. "Home porn," Rodney gasped. "It's all the rage."

"Now you're getting it," John said. He tugged up Rodney's shirt and bent his head to gnaw on Rodney's nipples.

Rodney got a face full of mitre and batted it away. "But there's no camera?" God, he hoped not. John had him half naked and spread out on the desk, his nipples damp and chewed on, his dick hard and hanging out in the breeze.

John lifted his head and then made a frame with his thumbs and index fingers. "Don't need one," he said, grinning down at him. Then he leaned and roughed his tongue down Rodney's cock.

"Oh, holy geez." 

"Mmmmm." John agreed, apparently, and licked and licked, oh, right there, and then started sucking, his head bobbing, his mouth so warm and soft, his tongue flicking back and forth.

Rodney whimpered. "Looks good from up here. Just keep. Keep. Augh." 

John pulled away and started jerking him off just right, perfect pressure, until Rodney started coming while John watched, his eyes trained on the streams of jizz spurting from Rodney's dick and onto his stomach. 

"Nice," John said. "That's a wrap."

"What? Oh, I think not." Rodney grabbed the front of John's shirt and hauled him down for a mean, dirty kiss before releasing him. "You'd better be kidding."

"Maybe." John licked his lower lip. "Could be I have a sequel planned already."

"Just not on my desk." Rodney pushed himself off and winced when his skin stuck to the surface; he ended up grabbing John for leverage, and managed to get one hand on John's ass, which was a bonus. John made a hilarious noise and gave him a reproving look before shoving him toward his bed. Rodney knelt onto it and started toward the pillows.

"Just like that, yeah," John said, and before Rodney had a chance to turn over, grabbed his hips and froze him in place. "Now that is the money shot right there. Don't move."

"Or what?"

"Or, I don't know—you'll spoil the ambiance. Hang on, I'm getting the lube." 

_The last of the great romantics,_ Rodney thought. But hey, by the time they were done, Zelenka would have the network back up.

Rodney smiled and grabbed a pillow.

 

_End._


End file.
